The Act of Compassion, understanding is individual.

"He hit her with a frying pan, she was bleeding, I took a face cloth, put it on her face, it was soaked with dark red blood" This was my eighty five year old Mother tell me of the story of her mothers relationship to my abusive grandfather, her first memory. She then said "alcohol has put me in this wheelchair and robed you of a mother", the booze killed your father, Brother, and destroyed the Family. "

For those of us whom are blessed with having to care for aging residential school survivors as parents, at times it's my being a son to her more than she was a mother. I am fortunate to hear the "Hidden" stories of her past. The ghost if you will. The TRUTH!

I was shocked and unprepared for her truth-isms. I accept and listen to her confession of my fathers infidelity's, and how she stuck by him for thirty years for the "Sake of the children". I thanked her. She then said; "You raised yourself" I was to broken. You survived.

My early childhood memory is this; A Cold January night, a shack on thirty fourth street was home, (The Jehovah's Wittiness Church) is now there. I was cleaning up bottles from the table of drunk parents and there weekend friends. I was sick with a fever, My sister Kathie ran to the neighbour's to call an ambulance. It came I remember crying, for Mother , she was passed out in her beer. I was in that hospital for weeks(best time of my life). My mother remembered this and apologized forty years later. I forgave her.

Reconciliation, forgiveness; what act of kindness can one show to the dying. One must listen to the stories of the parents, for it's simple to ask for forgiveness, but is a tougher for the person being asked to forgive the asked. I'm the age of self forgiveness, done it, it has empowered me to see my "social contacts" as "stories", in essence long research interviews that may last years, as I have found out.

I recently have put the bottle down for the third time in my adult life. I want to be clear, present, and clean to feel the emotions, stories.  it has not been a struggle like it is for some.  It's simple to see the damage it has done to my body/liver, and FAMILY. This was my bottom. 

Listening to my Mothers stories. The act of forgiveness is in the eye of the beholder. Not all people deserve or can ask for forgiveness. I admit that I still have not forgave many that have done me wrong.The gay basher in Whitehorse that never went to trial. The people that back stabbed me for self gain.  I am more intelligent to know that it's a small world and it's that persons journey, not for me to judge. 

At times the waves may tip my boat over, but for the foreseeable future I see nothing but calm sea's......